


That Quiet Life

by lionessliv, moon_raes



Series: Portal & Red - us, the Captain and the Winter Soldier [1]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action, All At Once, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Episode: s01e03 Where Do the Little Ones Get So Much Vitality?, F/M, Mutual Pining, Pass it on, Second-Hand Embarrassment, This will be good, and fights, and horses, captain america is afraid of horses, first hand embarrassment too, fluffl, this is post civil war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-10-20 22:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17631308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessliv/pseuds/lionessliv, https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_raes/pseuds/moon_raes
Summary: After the events in Siberia, Steve and Bucky are on the run. Tony is angry with Steve, the United Nations are trying to get a hold of them, no one is on their side.No one? Wrong. Red and Portal, two trained SHIELD agents helped them escape to Italy, where they are hiding out on a farm. Their cover? Happy farmers who offer horseback rides to children and tourists. But how are they supposed to hold out, cooped in in a small house and why does Nick Fury show up just as they got comfortable there and with each other?- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  -post Civil War





	1. 1

The sun was setting over the hilltop as Olivia drove the beat up, old truck down the road. It winded through a forest of oaks and cottonwood trees, just like it had for the last fifteen minutes. She anxiously tapped her finger against the steering wheel as she grew impatient. They were so close to being safe that she could almost taste it!

Touching down in Rome had been a bit of a mess. It was a miracle that they had made it out of the city unnoticed. Being out in a sea of strangers with two wounded agents while being wanted by the U.N was a bit unnerving, but somehow they had survived.

Things got better for Olivia’s nerves once she had gotten in touch with her contacts, Luca and Marco. A safe house had been procured for the fleeing SHIELD operatives just outside of a small town called Cepagatti, where they would be staying until their next move was made.

And who knew how long that would take.

In the passenger seat beside her sat Raena. She was leaning back against the headrest while she stared out the windshield. Her left eye was shining black and a bruise was wrapped around from her right cheekbone down to her jaw. She’d hardly spoken since the events at the Berlin HQ.

Olivia grimaced at her best friend, seeing her this uneasy was a rarity.

Almost like she could sense it, Raena looked over at her. She tried her best to put a small smile on her face. “How much longer?”

“We’re almost there.” Olivia said as she glanced into the rearview mirror where she could see Steve and Bucky barely managing to stay awake.

They were both beaten up pretty badly after the events in Siberia. Bruises and dried blood covered both of their bodies and they looked absolutely exhausted. The sooner they all got to the safe house the better off they would be, Olivia thought to herself. That way they could actually get some rest.

Suddenly their destination came into sight; the Farmhouse.

It was a very quaint place. The laneway was long, curvy, and surrounded by wheat fields. The house itself was red brick, nearly a century old with a wrap around porch and many flowerbeds. The barn was stained white board with pens for the few horses that lived here and had a matching chicken coop nearby. Behind the barn a shed rose from the ground, similar looking, with all the old farming equipment stored away in it.

A perfect place for wanted criminals to hide and lay low.

Relief hit Olivia like a freight train the second she shut the engine off. She stared up at the house in front of them. “Finally.”

Unpacking was a slow process, especially for Steve and Bucky. Considering he only had one arm and had nearly been beaten to death, Bucky didn’t have much strength to walk on his own.

Steve, who was limping on his left leg, wrapped his arm around his neck and took most of Bucky’s weight as they walked inside.

Olivia walked ahead of them to unlock the front door while Raena stayed behind with some of the bags over her shoulders. The door unlocked and with a gentle kick it popped open, letting out a whiff of fresh smelling laundry.

Olivia smiled. It was nice that Luca and Marco had cleaned the house up for them.

“Alright, come on.” She led Steve and Bucky towards the staircase on the far side of the kitchen. “Bedrooms are up this way.”

With grunts and groans the two men followed her upstairs. The floor was all hardwood with some area rugs spaced out in the hallway and in the bedrooms. As Olivia glanced down at the dirty, bloody prints being left behind she made a mental note to clean them all tomorrow.

“Sorry about the blood.” Steve spoke up for the first time in a while, as if he was reading her mind.

Olivia shook her head. “Don’t even worry about it. You’re both in pretty bad shape, I don’t really blame you for not being pristine.”

She led them into one of the three bedrooms that the house had to offer on its second floor. Its walls were painted a pale blue and the window treatments popped with a nice ivory white. A double bed lay inside with fresh sheets, a comforter, and lots of pillows on it.

Steve set Bucky down on the bed with a grunt. “Alright Buck, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Bathroom’s just across the hall.” Olivia told him. “The closet on your left is full of linens and the next door on your right is another bedroom.”

Steve nodded his head as he took his helmet off, revealing bright blond hair that was sticking up in all directions with some blotching red spots in it.

Olivia immediately felt her cheeks get hot and spun around on her heels. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Hey.” Steve reached out and stopped her as she headed towards the doorway.

She stared down at the hand that was gently grasping her bruised arm before she looked into Steve’s tired eyes.

“Thank you.” He spoke sincerely. “Thank you for doing this. You and Raena didn’t have to put yourselves at risk for us.”

Olivia’s heart pounded in her chest as she glanced back at Bucky who gave her a small nod of silent appreciation. It was almost as if he wanted to say something, but had decided instead to keep his mouth shut.

“We wouldn’t have done it any other way Cap.” Olivia smiled back at him. “Now get cleaned up and get some rest. I’ll see you two in the morning.”

Steve stared after her for a few seconds before letting her arm go. Olivia gave a small wave as she left the room. Once she reached the bottom of the stairs she stopped and let out a deep breath. This was absolutely nerve wracking.

After collecting herself, she walked into the kitchen where she found Raena sitting at the table, counting money.

“How much do we have?” Olivia asked as she sat down across from her.

Raena set the stack of bills down on the table and sighed. “130 dollars. And that’s not including the currency conversion, then it will be significantly less.”

Olivia bit her lip and looked at the money. “This won’t last us too long.”

“Think your friend can help us out?” Raena crossed her arms over her chest. “Or worse comes to worse I’ll pull some strings with a contact from Rome.”

“Wait.” Olivia screwed her face up at the mention. “You don’t mean the guy who tried to roofie you that one time, do you?”

Raena shrugged and looked away. “It was one time.”

“Nope. Forget it.” Olivia shook her head. “I’m not having you deal with that asshole again. We’ll find another way. I’ll talk to Luca when I see him tomorrow.”

Raena nodded and kept her eyes on the floor. “Can’t believe this is actually happening.”

Olivia shot her a concerned look. “Do you want out?”

“Hell no.” Raena said almost immediately. “We agreed to do this together. And I’m not running away. I’m with you no matter what, Red.”

Relief washed over Olivia as she smiled. Raena was always true to her word and that was something to be admired. “Same here.”

Raena leaned forward and gave Olivia’s back a pat, which made the redhead whince in pain, before she stood up. “We should get some sleep. I’ll jump into town to get us some groceries in the morning. And I’ll take the room down here if you want.”

“You sure?” Olivia followed her.

“Yeah, I don’t mind. Honestly.” Raena gave a reassuring nod of her head, but Olivia was smart enough to know that there was another reason behind her choice.

She didn’t press the matter and leaned over to pick her duffle bag up off the ground. “Okay, if you say so. Try to get some rest, okay?”

Raena nodded and gave her partner a hug. “You too, g’night.”

Olivia trekked back up the staircase and found the door to Bucky’s room closed. She could hear the water running in the bathroom and saw the door open just a crack. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, she crept forwards and glanced inside.

Steve was standing in front of the vanity, his palms pressed down against the marble, staring at himself in the mirror. His back was covered in bruises and burns and it made Olivia wince. She could see the anguish in his eyes, the guilt rotting inside those seas of deep blue, it was heartbreaking.

Just then Steve blinked, as if he had been broken out of his train of thought and before he could turn towards the door to catch her spying on him, Olivia silently tiptoed down the hallway to her own bedroom on the other side of the house.

She closed the door and bit her lip, she had never seen him so… vulnerable before. It made her realize how big of a toll this business of the Accords had taken on him. Plus everything that had gone on with Bucky?

Steve had to be extremely physically and mentally exhausted.

~

As she opened her eyes the next morning, it took Olivia awhile to realize where she was. The sunlight was different, it was quiet, no city noises. Then it hit her. She was in Italy. She fled from SHIELD, she was hiding two wanted criminals… no, wait. Four. She and Raena had become criminals themselves. 

Stretching herself she sat up and looked around. The tiny room with the old wooden floor, the four poster bed and the tiny cupboard would be her… home? No. Hide out. And for how long?

Rubbing her eyes, she wondered what they should do from here on. What would their next move be? 

As she got up and dressed, not without held back cries of pain and grunts, she could hear the shower run in the bathroom that divided her room from Steve’s. Steve. Last night she’d fallen asleep thinking about how awful he must have felt after everything. Tony, Bucky, the Avengers falling apart… How much could one supersoldier take? 

As she came downstairs, she could see her best friend in the kitchen. Raena usually had trouble sleeping, but as she turned around now, a frying pan in her hand, Liv gasped. “Did you sleep at all, Rae?”, she asked her and walked over to examine her friend a bit closer.

“Not really”, was all she got for an answer. Liv sighed, opening a cupboard and looking for plates and cups. In silence she started to set the table for breakfast. As she sat down the last plate, her eyes noticed a red spot on the ground.

“Oh, damn it”, she mumbled. Having forgotten about the blood that spilled on the ground, she turned around, wanting to get a wet cloth, but Raena already handed it to her. 

“Don’t, Liv, okay?”, she mumbled and tried a smile. “We can’t beat ourselves up already, you hear me? It will all be fine, don’t worry.” 

Trying a smile herself, Olivia took the cloth and then got to work. Thoughts rummaged around in her head and made it hard for her to concentrate on the tasks at hand. Would someone be after them? Would they have to move again? How would they get food and where from? What would happen next?

Being lost in her thoughts, Olivia didn’t notice Steve entering the room. She also didn’t notice that she was kneeling right in front of the stairs, blocking the way in the kitchen, from where the smell of eggs and toast must have attracted the Captain. 

“Uh, Olivia?”, he said and she looked up, right in front of him, kneeling in a position that made Raena cackle from the kitchen counter. Her face flushing to a colour that matched her red hair, she stepped back, only to trip over a chair and nearly fall down. Steve rushed forward and reached out to pull her to her feet, but she shook her head. “I’m good, sorry. It’s… sorry.”, she mumbled and got back to her feet. Catching Raena’s glance, she took a deep breath and then went on to rinse out the cloth, while Steve took a seat next to Raena and started a conversation. 

“Thanks for making breakfast”, he said and smiled at Raena, who nodded. 

“Of course, I cou-”, she started but then looked on her plate. 

“Couldn’t sleep? Me either.”, Cap finished her sentence. They shared an exhausted smile, just as Olivia sat down next to Raena. Her hands were clean, although a bit of red still stuck under her nails. Her appetite had gone. 

“So”, she started and looked up, cheeks still slightly red. “I’m going into town today, meeting with Marco and or Luca, I don't know yet, and see what they can help us with.” Then she remembered something. “And the chucks and the horses need to be fed. Also, the horses need to be brought down to the paddock.” She remembered Luca telling her that this was necessary to keep their cover up. Also, they lived on a farm with animals that needed to be taken care of. They could not just run around expecting things to handle themselves.

“I’ll take care of the chickens.”, Raena said and raised her hand as if in school. Steve though did not look very happy. He frowned and looked at Olivia sceptically.

“Do I have to do the horses then? And, how many are there?”, he asked and Olivia raised one eyebrow in disbelief. “Really? Captain America is afraid of horses?”

“Not afraid!”, he said hastily and shook his head. “I just have a lot of respect for these majestic and frightening animals, okay?”

“Frightening?”, Olivia said, disbelieving. Meanwhile, Raena wasn’t even trying to hide her giggles anymore. “Alright. Then I guess I’ll do it before I leave.”, Liv sighed and pulled a cup towards her, to finally get some coffee. She was just about to make a comment to Raena as her friend’s giggles stopped. She looked up, to see what might have caused that sudden change in behaviour and her eyes met Bucky’s. 

“Morning”, Steve said, as if he didn’t notice the cold that suddenly seemed to fill the room. Olivia glanced towards Rae but her head was lowered and she seemed incredibly interested in her breakfast. 

“How did you sleep, Buck?”, Steve asked and Olivia popped her head up as Bucky answered: “Like a stone. But it’s weird, you now? Being without my arm again.” 

The uncomfortable feeling was only intensifying as Steve patted Bucky on the shoulder, the one with an arm still attached to it, and said: “We’ll solve it, somehow. I’ll make sure of that.” 

Bucky smiled weakly at him and then pulled the plate with bacon closer to him. His and Raena’s eyes met over the table and she abruptly got up and left, mumbling something about the chickens. Olivia got up herself, thinking about comforting her friend but then she remembered how closed up she’d been yesterday and shook her head slightly.

“I’m going into town, meeting Luca and Marco and hopefully we’ll find a solution for our money problems and”, she added, “I’ll also get some groceries.” She shot one last look at Steve and then turned around, leaving the house. 

Steve’s gaze lingered on the door for another second, before he pulled away and looked at Bucky. “I suppose we don’t get to go to town any time soon, mh?”, he said, in a light way, but Bucky knew too well how serious he was. 

“What’re you thinking, punk?”, he said with a tired smile. “Even in a small village in Italy people would notice if two wanted criminals, one of them with only one arm, would go around and buy milk and cheese.” 

Not replying, Steve sighed, before he looked over at the seat Raena had occupied a few seconds ago. “What happened here? You used to get along so well.” 

For a long time, Bucky didn't say anything. He chewed and then pushed his plate away, his eyes suddenly dark with anger and frustration. 

“I don’t know, Steve!”, he said hotly and then looked apologetic at his best friend. “Sorry.. it’s just… I don’t know what happened but it must be something I did after this idiot made me… comply again.” The last few words were barely more than a whisper but even without strengthened senses through the serum Steve would have understood his best friend. 

“So, it’s not your fault then?”, Steve asked cautiously and saw immediately that he’d made a mistake.

“It is”, Bucky interrupted him. “How could I not control myself? Especially… around her.” He rubbed his eye with his hand and sat straight up. “But there’s nothing I can do about it right now… right?” Although he wanted to comfort his friend, Steve couldn’t lie to him.

“You can always talk to her?”, he suggested and Bucky scoffed. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Meanwhile, the sun bathed the little streets of Cepagatti in warm, golden sunlight and the streets started to fill with people. Old men sat on the benches in front of the Castello Marcantonio, an impressive building made out of brick. It was central to the small town and a good place to hold a secret meeting, but Liv couldn’t help but fall in love with the streets and their old buildings, the convoluted houses, leaning against each other in an attempt to hold each other up, the colourful facades, the flowers on the window benches and the kids playing in the streets. 

It was weird - being in this alarming situation but still having time to adore the flower beds around the benches with the old men sitting on them, smoking their pipes and reading the newspapers. 

Marco waved at her and pulled her out of thought, approaching her, a smug grin on his face. “Is this the best hideout place or what?”, he asked in an accented English, but Liv answered in Italian. There was no need to raise the suspicion even more with talking English somewhere in a small Italian town with little tourism. Especially not this time a year.

“It really is beautiful, as is the farm house. Gracie mille Marco.”, she said and smiled warmly at him. 

“Nothing to thank me for. Especially not after what you did for us in Michigan all those years ago.”

“Don’t mention it.”, she answered and looked around. Nothing seemed suspicious, not even the old men sitting on a bench and talking about Italy not qualifying for the Soccer World Cup. Other than that… a little kid drawing something on the ground with chalk, a man in a suit talking on the telephone, hotly and using his hands to prove a point and a woman, pushing around a pram, whispering things to her baby.

“So, I need your help.”, Olivia said, but Marco subtly shook his head. 

“Not here, come on, I’ll get you to a place where we can talk in private.” 

Olivia nodded and Marco turned right, walking down the Via de Felici, chatting about the good weather and the harvest, while pointing to some shops and explaining what they bought and sold, who owned them and what twist they were in with which family. 

When they finally turned around another corner, Liv found herself in a small alley, just garages lining up next to each other, followed by a fettled wall with old paintings of saints on them. Marco dropped his pace and grinned at her.

“Now we can talk. Do you have everything you need in the house?”

“Yes, it’s wonderful. Thanks so much for even cleaning it!” Marco smiled. “The only thing I am worried about”, she added, “is that we might not last long enough without some extra money.” 

Marco smiled knowingly. “I knew you’d come to me to ask me about that and I have just the solution for you.” While he explained his plan, Olivia’s face went from sceptical to cheerful and finally to disbelief. 

“You can’t mean that, do you?”, she asked him but he looked hurt. 

“Don’t insult me. It took Luca and me a full day to come up with it and organise everything. You’ll see, it’ll work out. Oh, and they can take the eggs your hens give and sell them, too. And”, he paused, “if it’s not enough, I might or might have not got some funding for hosting international refugees (Liv noticed he didn’t say criminals) from the Agenzia Informazioni e Sicurezza Interna… I will be able to branch that off in secret with the help of a friend or two. You know”, he paused, “there are a few people in the Agenzia, including me, who believe that what Cap did was the right thing. We’ll do all we can to keep up your cover and hide you from the Agenzia and all other agencies who are looking for you.”

Looking at him, she couldn’t help but smile. Then she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “Thank you so so so much, Marco. I can’t believe you’re really doing all this for us.” She let him go and took a deep breath. “The others will be delighted to hear that. I really hope it’ll all work out.” 

Later, when Olivia returned back to the farmhouse, a basket full of groceries and fresh fruits dangling from her arm, she hesitated to open the gate for a second. She was overwhelmed by how real this felt. How she, for the best half of the day, didn’t think about being chased and followed, how she just wandered the market and got food and supplies. As she entered the house, reality was coming back to her.

She found Steve and Bucky on the couches in the living room, talking. Their wounds had been patched up and a bandage showed under the black shirt the Cap was wearing. Bucky, too, had a few band-aids placed over his arms and body, along with a fresh, white bandage around his shoulder, where his metal arm had been before.

As they noticed her, Steve stood up, awkwardly rubbing his neck and then realising that he still was in his old habit of a) being the gentleman he was raised to be and b) making an utter fool out of himself. He tried to cover it up by taking the full basket out of Olivia’s hands and disappearing in the kitchen.

“Where’s Raena?”, Liv asked Bucky and he just pointed upstairs. With a short nod she left the living room and a couple of minutes later, all four sat together at the table in the kitchen, Steve, Bucky and Raena watching Liv curiously. “So, what did your Italian friend had to say?”, Bucky asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, we don’t need to worry about the money, that’s for sure. He has some, well, let’s say, friends from the Agenzia Informazioni who believe that what we did was right and will come and help out here on the farm, they will provide our income, in a way.”, she said and Steve raised looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“A bit less cryptid, please?”, he asked and Liv knew he would not like what was to come next, but they really couldn’t be picky, could they?

“They will help to set up horseback riding for children here on the farm lands. They will offer it to tourists and families from the village, because apparently you need to own your own horse if you want to do riding and most families can’t afford it. We will take a little money and organise tours through the valley, the kids can look after the horses and the parents can lead them when we go for a ride. It will always be only one of us helping out, while someone from my team will come four days a week. Monday’s are off, hours are from 11 to 6 and payment will be done online to an account that will, via multiple shares, go into our secret account, established by Luca.” 

As she had finished, she didn’t see what she’d expected to see, but sheer relief. Raena nodded and then asked: “But what about the chickens?”, Bucky seemed content with the agreement, and Steve smiled at her, although she could see the fear of being in charge of the horses in his eyes.

“The eggs will be sold at the market for us, and traded for food. Someone from Marco’s team will bring fruits or veggies with them every second day or so. Through this, we don’t have to go into town that much and.. Yeah.” Liv shrugged, still unsure whether this would all work out. 

Raena smiled at her best friend. “Well done, Red”, she said and winked at her.


	2. 2

After an awkward lunch full of quickly shared gazes with Bucky, Raena had decided to go out and check the chickens for eggs. She needed the space, even though she had only been in the same room as him for about twenty minutes. She still wasn’t sure of how to deal with whatever this was...

Raena was just about to walk into the coop when there came a collectively loud cluck from the inside. Confused, she peered in the doorway and found the hens surrounding something in the corner of the coop. 

“What’re you chicken strips gawking at?” She asked as she walked inside. As she got closer she soon realized what it was.

It was a small, brown and white colored Norwegian forest cat. 

It couldn’t be more than a year old, and was doing its best to paw away at the hens as they attempted to peck at it. The poor thing must have been terrified.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Raena quickly came to the cats defense and began to shoo the birds away. “Get outta here you old broads!” 

The chickens proceeded to scatter and at that same moment the cat bolted out the door of the coop. Raena hurried after it and saw it climbing up one of the nearby apple trees and settling in on one of its lower branches.

She cautiously approached it. “Hey there darling. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

The cat just stared at her, watching her suspiciously.

Raena put down the basket she was going to use to collect the eggs and began to make soft noises with her lips. “C’mere.”

Cat’s nose twitched as it continued to stare.

“C’mere darling.” She reached out and began to tap her fingers together while still making cooing noises. “C’mon.”

Just then she noticed how skinny it was and frowned. Poor thing was probably starving.

“Wait right there.” She told it before heading back into the house. 

Steve and Olivia were doing the dishes while Bucky sat at the table reading the newspaper. All three of them looked up when Raena came bursting through the door.

“Whoa, where’s the fire, Rae?” Steve asked as he dried off a plate. 

She didn’t say anything as she went to the fridge and pulled out the milk before grabbing a bowl from the drying rack. 

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. “Rae?”

“I’ve got a little visitor outside, and she’s hungry.” Was all she said before putting the milk back in the fridge and heading back out the door. Thankfully the cat was still there, and watched Raena approach with the bowl in her hand.

It was set on the ground and Raena sat cross legged in front of it. “You hungry? Come here.” 

Slowly the cat began to pace down the branch while staring at the bowl the entire time. She eventually jumped to the ground and began to lick up the milk. Raena smiled and happily watched her from a foot or two away, she didn’t want to scare the cat. 

After finishing up the milk the cat stared back up at Raena and let out a meow.

“Sorry.” Raena shrugged. “That’s all I’ve got for you.”

The cat meowed again and rubbed itself against Raena’s knee.

She giggled. “I know, but if you stick around I can give you some more later. How does that sound?”

Another meow followed and the next thing Raena knew, her new friend was purring against her. She let the cat sniff her hand for a few seconds before petting her behind the ear. “You’re so cute.”

The cat turned her head back and started to lick Raena’s fingers, which made Raena even more giddy. She loved cats so much. 

“Awe.” Came from behind her.

Raena turned around and saw Olivia walking towards her with Steve and Bucky watching from the front porch. “She’s so adorable!”

“Isn’t she though?” Raena continued to scratch her ear. “I found her being attacked by the chickens in the coop.”

“Oh you poor thing.” Olivia knelt down and stuck her hand out for the cat to sniff as well. “What’re you going to call her?”

“Hmm.” Raena thought about it for a second. “Babs.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Babs?”

Raena nodded. “Yeah, you know, Barbara? Babs.”

“Oh.” Olivia giggled. “After your grandmother?”

“Yep.” Raena looked down at Babs. “Whatcha think darling?”

Babs meowed again before crawling into Raena’s lap.

“I think she likes it.” Olivia turned around and glanced at the boys. “Do you think they’ve ever been around cats before?”

Raena looked over her shoulder and smirked at the idea of Captain America and the Winter Soldier being afraid of cats. “Dunno. It’d be hilarious if they haven’t though.”

~

Bucky couldn’t stop staring as he watched how happy Raena looked about befriending this cat. It was the first time in a while that he had seen a genuine smile on her face and it made his heart skip a beat.

“Buck?”

“Hmm?” He blinked and turned to Steve. “What?”

The Captain gave a knowing smile and looked back out at the girls. “Nothing.”

“What.” Bucky groaned, knowing exactly what that smile meant.

Steve held his hands up in defense. “I didn’t say anything.”

“But I just know the wheels are turning in that tiny brain of yours, so spit it out already.” Bucky leered at him. 

Steve chuckled at the insult. “I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-uh.” Bucky mumbled and glanced back over to see the girls looking back at them, with Raena smirking in their direction.

God she was so cute. 

Flustered, Bucky hurried down the stairs. “I-I’m going to go on a perimeter check.”

Steve hurried after him. “Wait, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, I need to get out of the house and do something, and since I’m missing an arm at the moment I won’t be much help with anything else, so…” Bucky trailed off as the girls approached them. 

“What’re you doing Bucky?” Olivia asked.

“Uh.” He glanced between her and Raena who was holding the cat while watching him cautiously at the same time.

He could still see the resentment in her eyes, which was completely understandable, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. His heart still broke in half whenever she looked away from him with that cold expression on her face, like she was doing right now.

“Perimeter check he says.” Steve supplied when Bucky didn’t answer right away.

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t think that’s a good-”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” Bucky swatted his arm and hurried away from the group. “If I’m not back in twenty minutes then you can start to panic.”

Steve glanced at the girls before quickly following him.

~

Exactly nineteen minutes after they left, Liv saw Steve and Bucky making their way up to the house again. She let herself fall back on the porch swing and sighed. Rae, who sat on the steps, still cuddled Babs. The little kitten had stopped purring and snored a little while Raena, completely lost in adoration, stroked her fur. 

“There they are”, Liv said and crossed her arms before her chest. Bucky’s behaviour was reckless, to say the least. If she wanted to be mean, and honest, she would say that Bucky was avoiding his and Raena’s problems caused by him being manipulated by Hydra. He didn’t want to confess, to himself, that he was a victim of their doing and wasn’t to blame for what he’d done, and to Raena, that he was deeply sorry and cared for her. 

“Told you they’d come back on time”, she said and curled Babs’ tail around her finger. The kitten didn’t seem to mind. 

Olivia shot her friend a look and kept her comment to herself. At this point, the stubbornness of both Bucky and Rae drove her crazy. They were both too hard-headed to take one step towards the other, always just eyeing themselves when they knew no one was watching. 

But of course she was always watching. She was a spy afterall. 

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”, Rae said and Liv just sighed. Sometimes her deep relaxation and her way of not taking situations too seriously, when it was not a mission-situation, drove her insane.

And they've only been out here for two days! “I'll go and take care of the horses.”, she said and turned on her heel to leave the porch, walking around it towards the paddock and the boxes, so she would not have to meet Bucky and Steve. 

“Where did she go?”, Steve asked Raena as he stepped on the porch. Bucky hadn't been very talkative and lost in thought, so Steve had simply watched the surrounding area with caution. 

His intention had been to get Bucky to talk, ask him about what had happened between him and Rae, because something had definitely happened. But he couldn't remember and Steve didn't want to press him. 

“Horses”, Raena simply said and got up. The kitten still slept in her arms. She looked at Steve, a mixture of apology and exhaustion before she turned around to get back inside. 

“Ah”, Steve mumbled and looked at Bucky. But his best friend had decided to walk towards the shed, looking for distraction.

Since everyone had decided to ignore the others, Steve sighed deeply and followed Raena inside. If things were they way they are, he could as well take a nap. 

~

Finishing putting hay in all the boxes, Liv was panting. There were five beautiful horses in the stable and all of them seemed very happy to see her. When she had entered the box, all the horses neighed, demanding food and fresh water. Also, their boxes cleaned. 

Although it was a hard job, she was happy. Putting on the bridles she collected the horses. They were beautiful. One was an American Dream craft, beautiful and strong with their distinct creamy white colour. Another one was a chestnut warmblood with a flaxen mane, a Black Forest horse. A beautiful Haflinger mare had won over her heart immediately and Liv knew it would be the sweetheart of the children once they came to do some horseback riding. One candidate Liv was worried about was a black mustang, a stallion, that seemed hesitant and sceptic at her approaching him. That might be one for the more experienced riders. The last of the five was a Welsh pony, gently and happy to get some time outside. Liv wondered when they had had time outside on the paddock for the last time. 

As she had let the horses run free, she lingered on the fence a little longer and watched them. She remembered the time she had spent on the back of horses when she was little, with her grandfather, who always accompanied her, had taught her everything she knew and always encouraged her to continue her training. 

It never had been about accuracy or winning competitions, just about the fun and the feeling of freedom. 

Freedom. 

That was something that had got lost over the last few days. The conflicts in Serbia, the accords, Sokovia… all these events had led to the Captain needing to flee the country and going into hiding. Who knew when they would be able to get back to.. SHIELD? The Avengers? 

Who knew… 

~

As Olivia stepped back into the house, the sun was it its highest. The sun shone down on the cottage unapologetically and the little rooms had heated up. 

That didn't seem to bother Steve though. He slept on the couch, on the back and hugging a pillow. He looked peaceful and Liv stopped on her way upstairs to watch him for a couple of seconds. 

The emotional burden he had on his shoulders, the worries and the inner conflict must be draining. She sighed and turned around, wanting to make her way upstairs, as she found herself facing Raena, who smirked at her. 

“So”, she whispered and shot her friend a look. “We're not happy with posters now, we're watching the real life Captain sleep now?” 

“How dare you?!”, Olivia huffed which made Rae giggle even more. It was a reference to their years at the academy, where they had met in their first year. Olivia and Raena had immediately become friends and had been inseparable ever since. 

Naturally, they had shared all their secrets and knew practically everything about the other. Nearly everything. 

Back when she had started, she had a poster of Steve pinned up next to her bed, as an… well, inspiration, one could say. 

Steve had always been Olivia’s role model. She never would have thought that she would work next to him one day. But now… 

Also, he was incredibly good looking. 

“Oh calm down Red,” her friend teased her. “I won't say anything, you know me.” She paused. “But it's pretty cute.”, Raena added and smiled, this time, softer. 

Olivia huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Then she noticed the little bowl her best friend held in her hand. “Why did you come downstairs anyways? Your room’s down here?” 

“Oh, uhm.”, Rae suddenly seemed a little more unhappy than before. “Babs chose a different room as hers than mine.” She pulled a face and let the empty bowl rotate in her hands. “It's Bucky’s”, she finally mumbled. 

“Oh”, Olivia said and sighed deeply. “But he'll be glad about the company, mhm?” Her attempt to cheer her friend up was a lame one, but she had no idea what to say. Cats were like that sometimes. They chose who they'd like and where they'd sleep and no one was able to change their minds about it. 

“Yeah”, she sighed and shrugged. “But we'll make the best out of it. Like always, right?“ She stuck out her little finger and waited for Liv to hook hers in. 

“Like always.”, Liv smiled and happily hooked her pinky in.


	3. 3

A few hours later it was time for Raena to check the chickens again. She made sure to leave Babs inside so that she didn’t get mauled, and headed off to the chicken coop. 

She could hear Bucky in the shed, he must have found something to tinker away at, because he had been in there all afternoon. 

Raena did her best to repress the smile on her face that had appeared at the sound of him humming away. She hadn’t heard him this content in a very long time and while things may not have been the best between them at the moment, deep down she was glad that he wasn’t completely miserable.

“I’m back you old birds.” Raena greeted the hens as she entered the coop. “Hopefully you’re not attacking anymore defenceless kittens in here.”

The chickens all clucked at her in response and proceeded to move out of her way as she began to gather the eggs. Everyone seemed to be calm now, which was good.

“See? Isn’t it great when we all get along?” Raena chuckled as she finished with the eggs and headed for the door. “I’ll be back in the morning you chicken nuggets.”

Just then there was the sound of tires rolling over the dirt in the laneway and Raena’s back immediately went up. She walked out of the chicken coop and saw a pair of black SUV’s stopping in front of the house. 

Cautiously she approached them, setting the basket on the porch as she watched two pairs of men step out from each vehicle. Who were they supposed to be?

“May I help you?” Raena demanded in perfect italian, stopping a few feet away from the vehicles with a slant of her hips and an arched eyebrow.

The driver of the first SUV was tall, had dark brown curls, and as much as it pained Raena to admit it, was very handsome. He approached her with a smile on his face. “Miss Verone?”

“Who’s asking?” She retorted, crossing her arms defensively over her chest.

He chuckled at her comment. “My name is agent Stefano Moretti. We are with Marco and Luca.” He paused and looked at Raena meaningfully. 

Raena relaxed at that and let down her arms. “Oh! I apologize for the hostility, I-”

“No, no. I understand.” Stefano raised a hand to stop her apology. “One must always be on the lookout when in hiding. Although I must admit I am glad we got pleasantries out of the way before you resorted in sending my men and I to a place we’d rather not be.”

“Uh.” She glanced away and brushed some hair out of her face, a little embarrassed. “Yes, I do have a tendency of doing that.”

Stefano chuckled again. “As you should. Anyhow, my team and I are here to set you all up for your extended stay here in Italy.”

Raena nodded, “Yes, of course. Let me just go and get the others.”

~

A loud thump woke Steve up from his nap. He shot up abruptly from the couch, nearly falling over while doing so, and headed out into the kitchen to investigate. Through the windows he could see a group of men heading towards the stables while one stayed behind to talk to Raena on the front porch. He raised an eyebrow as he continued to watch the scene unfold before him. Suffice it say that Steve was a little anxious. Who were these guys?

“Steve?” He spun around and saw Olivia standing at the mouth of the staircase. “What’s going on?”

“Oh.” He hadn’t even heard her come down. “I’m not sure. Raena’s outside with somebody.”

“What?” Olivia blinked and hurried towards the window to stand by Steve’s side. 

“There are more heading towards the barn.” He watched her carefully. “Do you know them?”

“No.” She shook her head and stared back at him. “They must be with Luca and Marco. They can’t be here for anybody else.”

“Well even if they were sent by your allies, we still need to keep an eye out.” Steve reminded her, keeping his eyes on hers.

“I understand your concern, but we don’t need to worry about that.” Olivia reassured him with a raise of her hand. “They’ve been allies of mine for a long time and I trust who they deal with.”

Steve knew he should have looked away by now. Hell, blinking was probably a good idea too! Yet he couldn’t help but be captivated by Olivia’s vibrant green eyes. He could tell she was determined with her words, and knew that they were true.

“Okay.” He finally said. “Then I trust them too.”

Moments later the front door was opening and Raena was walking into the kitchen. Her attention immediately went to Olivia. “Luca’s boys are here.”

Olivia nodded and walked passed Steve towards the door. “Then let us go introduce ourselves.”

Steve said nothing and followed them.

~

“Stefano.” Raena called as the trio approached the horse stables where the rest of the Italian agents were beginning to unload equipment and supplies. 

The handsome man was standing off to the side, supervising his men with his hands folded behind his back. He turned at the sound of his name and smiled when he saw Raena.

“My companions;” She gestured towards them. “Olivia Fontana and Steve Rogers.”

“Ah!” Stefano offered a hand out to shake. “An honor to meet you both. I would just like to say how impressed I am after hearing what you did in regards to the Sokovia Accords. I understand how difficult it must have been to turn your back on those you trusted.”

“Oh, well thank you.” Olivia said, a little uneasily. The expression on her face spoke volumes to Raena. “But it wasn’t that hard of a decision for us to make.”

Steve nodded in agreement. “We were just doing what was right.”

“Indeed.” Stefano cleared his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Regardless, the past is the past. We are here to make sure you can prepare for your future.”

“Signore.” One of the men approached the group. “One of the horses will not cooperate.”

“Probably the mustang.” Raena glanced over at her friend. “He’s a stubborn one.”

Olivia nodded and hurried into the stable. “Let me see if I can help.”

Raena watched Steve hesitate for a moment before following. His fear of horses was understandable, but still funny to think about. Such a courageous, strong man, spooked so easily but such majestic and gentle creatures.

“I must apologize for how I phrased that.” Stefano spoke once the two of them were alone. “I did not intend for my words to be taken as an act of disrespect.”

“I wouldn’t say disrespect.” Raena said as she watched Olivia climb into the mustang’s box, feeling a little nervous about the matter. “But we have been through quite a week. It wasn’t our first thought, running off like this. We were forced to take action and do what we knew was right.”

Stefano smiled down on her. “I really do admire your valor, Miss Verone. It is very becoming of a woman such as yourself.”

Raena smirked and rolled her eyes before staring back up at him. She welcomed the Italian agent’s flirtatious nature, it was quite flattering. “I’m glad you seem to think so.”

Her moment of admiration was interrupted by a familiar voice behind her. “Rae?”

She turned around and saw Bucky standing there with a distrusting expression on his face. He held a socket wrench in his hand and pointed it at Stefano. “What’s going on? Who the hell is this?”

“Bucky.” Raena took a step towards him in fear of him turning hostile. “This is Agent Moretti. He and his men were sent here by Luca and Marco.”

“You must be the Winter Soldier.” Stefano said with his hands folded tightly behind his back. He gave Bucky a once over before saying. “I’ve heard many stories about you.”

“Oh really?” Bucky took another step. “Care to share any of them?”

Raena was quick to intercept him and spoke through gritting teeth. “Bucky.”

Stefano chuckled and turned away. “I think I shall pass for now. In the meantime I will go and check on my men.”

He walked into the barn without another word.

“What is the matter with you?” Raena demanded once Stefano was out of ear shot. “He’s here to help us.”

“He seems like a condescending jerk if you ask me.” Bucky growled after the other man. “Coming here acting like he knows what we’ve been through.”

“I’m sure he’s been briefed.” She pressed out, her eyes not narrowing away from him.

Bucky glanced down at her from the tone of her voice and furrowed his eyebrows. “What  
does that mean?”

Raena took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. “It means that you have to stop being pissed off at people just because they know about what you did.” 

“What I did.” He scoffed. “What I did? Are you serious?”

“Just-” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just go back to the house. You’re not needed here.”

Bucky stared at her for a long time. She saw his jaw clench, as if he was holding himself  
back from saying anything. 

“Fine.” He muttered before turning on his heels.

Raena watched him go before she groaned and covered her eyes. How long was this animosity going to last between them? It was absolutely exhausting and she just wished that it would be over.

~

When the business with the mustang was settled, Stefano and his men dropped the equipment in one of the empty boxes. Saddles, reins, helmets, switches, containers of food, sacks of hay and the paraphernalia to clean to horses. Liv inspected it, a shy smile on her lips. It reminded her of her childhood. 

Her finger stroked over one of the leather saddles and she closed her eyes for a second, but then someone behind her cleared their throat and she turned around: “Miss Fontana?”

It was Stefano. “By now, everything's in place. The first tour will start on Tuesday at 11am sharp. Someone from my team will come by before that and help you get the routine started.” 

She smiled at the Italian agent and nodded: “Thank you so much, Stefano, this is very kind of you. I will be the one to take the first shift on Tuesday. Until then, I will make sure everyone is acquainted with the horses. And how to handle them, too.”, she said and thought of Steve, who would probably have the biggest reservations about the horses.

“Thank you very much”, Stefano said. “I wanted to say goodbye to Miss Verone, too, but I can’t seem to find her. I hope you can relay my goodbyes to her?”

“Sure I will. Thank you, again.”, Liv replied, a grin tucking at the corner of her mouth. This young man really had a thing for her rebellious friend. As sweet as Liv found it all - she could as well see how this would complicate, well… everything. 

“What do you think?”, Steve asked her as they sat on the porch and watched the SUVs leaving again. Liv was incredibly aware of how close they sat next to each other, their knees touching and Steve’s shoulder brushing against hers every now and then. 

“I think it’s great that they help us, but I’m not too keen on making new friends here, so it doesn’t really matter whether I like them or not, right?”

“Textbook answer”, Steve mumbled, a grin on his face. He looked at her a little too long, his face a little too soft. He did that more often lately and every time a cold shiver ran down Olivia’s arms. “Have you seen the others?”, Steve asked then and now it was her time to blink confused and trying to catch his words, trying to understand what he had said.

“I… I don’t know. They’re both such hotheads and unfortunately, I don’t know what happened earlier when we were dealing with the mustang.”, she said and looked around. Her best friend was nowhere to be seen, the house was quiet as well. “Bucky has spent the morning tinkering on the tractor. Maybe he’s returned to it.”

“Maybe”, Steve answered. His jaw clenched and he was kneading his hands. He looked like he could use some distraction. 

“Come on, I promised Stefano something. You and I have a lot of work to do.” 

~

“Don’t be such a coward?”, Liv said over her shoulder, while she approached the horses. Steve still stood in the door of the stable, unsure whether stepping in again would mean any serious consequences for him. 

“I’m not a coward”, he said and took a deep breath before he made the last step and entered the building. The horse Olivia had chosen for their task today was a beautiful Haflinger mare with kind eyes. This beauty was gentle and calm, maybe Steve could grow to like at least this one. 

“If you weren’t you wouldn’t keep a distance.”, she said and stroked the mare’s mane before filling her bucket with fresh water.

“It’s just that I don’t particularly like them, that’s all.”, he mumbled while approaching the box. “I’d rather have a dog.”, he added quietly.

“I can imagine you with a dog”, Liv said and smiled at him. The horse neighed quietly as she filled up the animal feed and petted it. 

“And I”, he stuttered, “can imagine you riding this… eh, I mean, the, you know, the horse.”, Steve said and gestured towards the mare. His ears were red with embarrassment. Liv just looked at him, one eyebrow raised, before she started to laugh and Steve to blush. “I- I’m sorry.”, he mumbled and rubbed his neck with a hand while he seemed highly interested in his shoes. “That sounded weird.”

“It’s alright”, Liv said and took a deep breath to calm herself, still smiling. After a short pause she asked: “Do you want to pet her? She should be happy and calm. I mean, she just had food and water, so…” 

Still sceptical, Steve approached the horse. He stretched out one hand and Liv stepped next to him, putting a hand on his forearm to gently guide it. “You’d want to be gentle. Horses need a while until they relax around you.”, she commented as Steve’s hand touched the mare’s fur. He stroked her nose and a shy smile spread out over his lips.

“Her nose is so soft…”, he commented reverent and then looked over to Liv. His blue eyes met her green and suddenly she realised how close they stood. As Liv lowered her hand from his arm, there was a sudden spark of disappointment in Steve’s eyes, but before she was sure it had really been there it was already gone again. 

Suddenly, there was a loud bang outside. Not a gunshot though. More like an old engine would restart for the first time in ages. So Bucky really went back to the shed to work on the tractor. Maybe he’d fixed it, maybe it had been a misfire, you’d never know with these old machines.

But before she could really think about what it could have been, she was pressed to the stable wall, Steve shielding her with his entire body. His hands were pressed to the wall next to her head and his body pressed on hers. Olivia looked up and their eyes met again, his face only inches away from hers. 

What was going on here? The fact that she didn’t know started to annoy her and her agent senses kicked in. She needed to know. And she didn't need Steve to protect her. 

After all, they were here to protect him. And not vice versa.  
Steve didn’t seem to mind the horse anymore, even though the mare was nervously stepping from one hoof to the other. His gaze wandered over the stable walls and finally settled on the door leading to the front of the stable, leading outside towards the shed. He looked back at Liv, his face still with duty. 

“I think it was the tractor”, he commented. 

“And I think you can, uhm, let me go now.”, Olivia mumbled and Steve suddenly seemed to realise what he was doing. 

He immediately lowered his arms and stepped back. “Right, uhm, sorry. Just a reflex.” 

The tips of his ears were bright red again and Liv turned around towards the mare. “It’s fine, Steve. No… worries, you know?”, she said and softly stroked the horses’ neck. “It would still be good if we could get you used to handling the horses.”

When she turned around, he had gone. Olivia looked up and down the stable, but he wasn’t there anymore. He probably left to look after Bucky. With a loud sigh she leaned her head against the warm neck of the horse and closed her eyes.

“Okay, maybe later then.”, she mumbled, before stroking the mare one last time. Then she turned to check on the other horses that were neighing nervously in their boxes.

~

When she left the stable, her thoughts were still with Steve. It was weird how he would always be on her mind when she absolutely didn’t need it. 

She knew she should have been worried about her other friends, too. Especially Raena. Or Bucky. Both. Yeah, rather both. 

Rubbing her face with her hands and then letting them slide through her hair, she looked up towards the sky and suddenly she could see someone sitting on the top of the roof. Just through creaks in the door that once was used to throw the fresh hay out on a waiting carriage, she could make out a person sitting there. It wasn’t hard to figure out who was hiding up there. After all, she could hear Bucky and Steve whispering somewhere in the shed behind the barn. So only one person left. 

Pressing the button on her silver bracelet, Olivia turned invisible. The silver hoop around her right ankle was her most precious possession. She had invented it herself when she was in the academy, training to become a SHIELD agent. It camouflaged her against any background. But that took too long to explain so she always had called it her invisibility tech.

Climbing upstairs in the barn was not difficult. Years of training, involving parkour, had prepared her for climbing unknown and rough surfaces. It was nearly too easy. She jumped high enough to get a hold on one of the strongbacks and swung herself around, landing on her tiptoes. Without making a sound, she balanced over to the platform next to the big door.

Rae was sitting there, knees pulled up to her chin, frowning.

“I can hear you, Red.”, she said and Olivia pushed a button on the bracelet and became visible again. “You know, over the years I’ve learned how to recognise the signs of an invisible friend around.”

With a sigh, Olivia sat down next to her friend. “How long have you been up here sulking and pouting?”

Rae raised an eyebrow. “Long enough to hear the Cap’s weird advances towards you.” She snorted before imitating his voice: “I can see you riding… this. This horse.” Wiggling her eyebrows at her friend, Rae leaned closer before they both started to laugh.

“Yeah, that was weird. Did you hear the engine misfire?”

“Nearly gave me a heart attack.”, Rae nodded. 

The two friends sat next to each other in comfortable silence. They could work next to each other for hours without saying a word. They could pull off a whole mission without saying one word to each other - they understood each other. Usually. 

“I don’t understand”, Olivia said after a while. “Did something happen between you and Bucky again?”, she asked and turned to her friend, who kept staring at the ground.

“I... I have not been sulking.”, Rae clarified and Olivia’s brow flew up on her forehead. “Okay, maybe a little.”, and then: “Alright I have been.” She took a big breath. “I’ve seen Stefano and the others coming, I got defensive and then they introduced themselves. Bucky showed up, didn’t like how Stefano addressed him and I told him to get over himself. And maybe”, she added quietly, “that he wasn’t needed here.”

“Oh Rae”, her best friend quietly mumbled and Raena shrugged.

“What was I supposed to do? Stefano was so nice, even complimented me, and then Bucky showed up and I-”

“Oh”, Olivia interrupted. 

“Oh what?”, Rae snapped but then her expression softened. “Sorry... What do you mean?”

“So Stefano flirted with you?” 

“Did not” A pause. “Okay he might have.”

“And Bucky noticed it?”

“Maybe. I didn’t hear him coming.”, she mumbled and Liv pulled her knees closer to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, mimicking her best friend. 

“But you heard me just fine.” A snort was all Liv got on this remark. They sat in silence for a while, Olivia knowing too well that she didn’t need to say much more, because she got Raena thinking. It always worked out like that. They didn’t need much words.

“He remembers, you know? How he feels about you. Maybe it doesn’t add up in his head yet, but he stills feels for you, Rae. Could be that he’s just not sure how to process his memories. Or the lack thereof.”

Rae huffed.

“And I know you’re hurt too. By what he did. By how he hurt you with his actions. But you need to get your heads out of your asses and start talking to each other. You won’t be able to resolve it any other way.”

A couple of minutes they sat again in silence, then Olivia got up. “I’ll go and make dinner. Should I call you when it’s done?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”, Rae answered and watched her friend brush some hay off her bottom before leaving the barn, heading for the house while the cicadas in the surrounding woods started to sing.


	4. 4

The days passed slowly and the four agents soon found themselves carefully falling into a comfortable routine. They were always up early in the morning with chores to busy themselves with - whether they always enjoyed them or not was another story.

“C’mon Greta, move your big fluffy butt!” Raena attempted to shoo the hen away from the nest, but to no avail. “I know, I wouldn’t want somebody to steal something I just made either but you literally don’t need it. And you’re going to be making another one tomorrow anyways.”

Greta proceeded to let out a loud squawk and flapped her wings aggressively at Raena. She was clearly uninterested in giving her egg up this morning. Greta’s agitation only wound up the rest of the hens, and soon they were all flapping their wings in total chaos.

“Alright alright!” Raena conceded and covered her head while trying not to drop the basket in her hand. “I can take a hint!”

Their clucks of victory mocked her as she left the coop.

She let out a huff and wiped her brow. It was an unnaturally warm morning for mid-October, but Raena knew that the evening would bring about colder weather. She turned back to the hens who were beginning to exit the coop and wander out into their pen. “Jeez, bested by a bunch of pillows with beaks. Nice job, Verone.”

Someone chuckled behind her. “You know, I think you’re the only person I know who has arguments with chickens on a day to day basis.” Raena looked up and saw Steve standing by a pile of logs with an axe in his hand and a grin on his face. 

Raena rolled her eyes and walked over to him. “Force of habit, I talked to the animals on my farm a lot when I was a kid. Even if they didn’t talk back, they still knew how to give me attitude.”

“Didn’t know you grew up on a farm.” He smiled at her. 

She shrugged. “Guilty. Our farm has been in my dad’s family for four generations, ever since his grandfather came over from Belgium during the first world war.”

“Interesting to know.” Steve leaned up against a nearby tree with the axe still in his hand. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I know that much about you or Olivia.”

“Oh she’s an open book.” Raena grinned at him. “All you have to do is ask.”

His cheeks went a little red and she knew that it wasn’t from the heat. “Yeah well I’m still… working on that.”

“I can see that.” She laughed. “But anyway, talking to animals is something I’ve always done. Chickens, geese, cows, dogs, cats… Some things just don’t change.”

“Well hey, I know all about that.” Steve set the axe down on the ground and stood up straight. “I was still picking fights back when I was a scrawny kid in Brooklyn, believe it or not.”

“Oh no, that is something I totally believe.” Raena grinned and watched him begin collecting the logs off the ground. “Bucky told me stories.”

The words left her mouth before she could stop them. Once she realized this, she quickly bit her lip and prayed to God that Steve hadn’t heard that part.

Nope, he definitely had. 

“Really?” He straightened up with the pile of wood in his arms.

Raena sighed and crossed her arms, staring at the ground because she was too nervous to look Steve in the eye as she spoke. “Back in Romania… Before… yenno…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. “Everything went back to square one with his memories…”

It was quiet for a few seconds before the logs were being set on the ground again. “Raena… I don’t know how to say this, but… Bucky remembers everything he did as the Winter Soldier…”

Her eyes went wide in shock before she looked up at him. “What?”

“Everything but,” Steve stretched out his palms in caution in hopes of calming her down, “What happened in Berlin that day. Now whether that’s because he’s unintentionally repressed the memories of what he did or-”

The rest of the words went right through Raena as her mind wandered back to that day after the fight… In the warehouse before they made a break for the airport to meet up with the rest of their team...

**It was dingy, damp, and reeked of engine oil. Raena and Olivia had been talking with Steve while Sam stood guard over Bucky’s unconscious body. Once they had been notified of his awakening, they had all rushed back to the other room where he sat with his metal arm locked in a vice grip.**

**Raena made sure to keep her distance and stood by the door, doing her best to blend into the shadows.**

**“Steve?” Bucky groaned out.**

**“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve demanded, clearly unhappy with the days events.**

**It was quiet for a second before he answered. “Your mom’s name was Sarah… And you used to wear newspapers in your shoes.”**

**The joy in his voice surprised Raena, and caused her eyes to soften.**

**Steve seemed relieved as well. “You can’t read that in a museum.”**

**“Wait,” Sam stepped forward. “Just like that we’re supposed to be cool?”**

**Ignoring him, Bucky looked up at Steve. “What did I do?”**

**His eyes went to Raena moments later, as if he had picked her out of the shadow she was trying to hide in. His expression dropped and he froze at the sight of her injuries. He was clearly surprised by this, and obviously had no memory of what he had done just hours earlier.**

**Raena shot her gaze away as if she had been struck by lightning and immediately turned to exit the room as fast as she possibly could. She felt like she was going to be sick to her stomach and decided to get some fresh air.**

**As she sped away she heard Steve sigh after her; “Enough.”**

“Raena?”

“Hmm?” She blinked and focused back in on what Steve was saying. “What?”

“I said that you can’t blame him for not remembering what happened.” Steve shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It could just be his brain trying to protect himself after… after everything…”

That made some sense. After all Raena couldn’t deny about having her fair share of repressed memories due to PTSD. She slowly nodded her head, unsure of what to say next. “Right… I’m uh… I’m gonna head into the house.”

Steve nodded. “Look, I’m not saying you have to go and make up with him this instant but just… Give him a chance okay?”

“Yeah.” She began to back up towards the house. “Yeah, I’ll do that… Thanks Cap.”

She hurried inside without waiting for an answer and set the basket for the eggs on the counter of the kitchen. She gripped the sink, her brain suddenly feeling very foggy. Maybe she had been overreacting about this whole situation. 

“Good try!” Suddenly came from the living room.

Raena raised an eyebrow and walked over to the doorway. She peeked inside and her heart melted at the sight of Bucky playing with Babs on the couch. He had a string of yarn in his hand and was dangling it in front of the cat’s face as she laid stretched out on her back, attempting to catch it.

The expression on Bucky’s face made Raena’s heart skip a beat. It had been a while since she’d seen him so happy.

Suddenly Babs straightened up and jumped off the couch, prancing towards Raena with a meow.

Bucky’s eyes followed her and his smile dropped a bit at the sight of her. “Oh… hey.”

“Hey.” Raena picked Babs up and began to pet her. “Sorry to ruin playtime.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” He set the string down and stood up. “She’s your cat after all.”

“I don’t know.” Raena smiled at Babs and scratched behind one of her ears, earning a loud purr from the cat. “She really seems to like you.”

Bucky gave a small smile and looked down at the ground. “So… Are you going to town later?”

“I was going to, yeah.” She watched him as he walked a bit closer to her. “Why?”

He rubbed his hand on his pants nervously. “I was kinda… wondering if I could go with you?”

She blinked. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” He wrapped his arm around his chest and smiled at her. “Sort of starting to miss the hustle and bustle of town. Don’t get me wrong, being stuck out here is great, it’s just… It gets a little boring, yenno?”

Raena nodded in understanding. She often felt the same way when she had been staked out for too long in the middle of nowhere… But she knew she couldn’t do it.

“Bucky I’m sorry but uh… It’s probably not the best idea for you to be anywhere off the farm.” She frowned at him. “Safety precautions and stuff.”

“Oh.” His energy immediately changed and he began to back up. “Right… You need to protect the people from the scary Winter Soldier.”

“No that’s not what I-” Raena was cut off by Babs jumping out of her arms and heading for the front door. 

“It’s fine,” Bucky was quick to follow her. “Just forget I asked.”

“Bucky wait! That isn’t-” Raena gave up after hearing the screen door slam shut.

~

As Olivia left the stable, she was tired already. Although they’ve been here for quite a while now, everything was still so… different. She missed her training sessions, she missed the feeling of having something to do.

Not that she was unoccupied. No, sir. There was so much to do, actually. Every morning the horses needed to be fed and led to the paddock. Then she usually cleaned the stables, then went for a run before she would come back for breakfast. Someone always made breakfast. Sometimes she did.

It was a weird feeling. Being roommates with Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Not with Rae, though. It was great getting to spend more time with her. It was like back in the Academy. 

After breakfast, one of Stefano’s men would usually turn up and one of them would help prepare the riding sessions with the kids. The other three did what was left to do - clean, cook marmalade, prepare for the winter. Steve would go and chop wood, Bucky would pace around the perimeter nervously, read up on things that he had missed as the Winter Soldier or help Steve and Raena would try new recipes, cook or do something creative. When she had time off, Liv would read or write her journal.

It was exhausting, all this doing nothing.

Looking around over the farm grounds, she could see Steve standing in front of the porch, chopping wood. Rae was nowhere to be seen but Bucky just stormed out of the house, looking unhappy and upset. So her best friend was probably inside, mimicking Bucky’s expression in some variations. A sigh escaped Liv’s lips.

Bucky and Rae had been doing much better lately. There had been talks, a little banter, some shared shy smiles… But this didn’t look good.

Following Bucky with her eyes, she could pretty soon make out that he was on his way to the shed. The old tractor still wasn’t working but even with one arm Bucky did his best. In the corner of her eye she saw Steve moving. He started to walk towards the shed but then he caught her eyes.

It was frustrating to say the least. Every time he looked at her, her heart skipped a beat. Even now he was standing ten meters away from her and she still felt like she’d missed a step on a staircase. It was downright exasperating. Waving him off, Liv tried to play it cool before following Bucky. Apparently the Cap had gotten the hint because he didn’t follow her. When she arrived at the shed, Bucky leaned into the motor of the tractor, mumbling to himself. With a sting in her heart Liv noticed that it was Russian.

“Hey, Buck”, she said, when she entered the shed. He must have heard her coming because he didn’t bat an eye.

“Hey”, he just huffed without looking up.

Leaning over him, she shot a look into the open machine. Her green eyes wandered over the inside of the tractor but she didn’t say anything. She just watched Bucky work for a bit, before she took a deep breath.

“So, what happened between you and Raena earlier?”, she asked straight.

Bucky straightened up without looking at her. Then he slowly turned his head to look at her as if she was a magician or a witch. Liv was a bit sensible regarding being called the latter. People had always made fun of her because of her hair colour.

“How..”, he started, but Olivia cut him off.

“Did I know? It’s not a secret that you get most upset when you and Rae clash again. So, what happened? Did you guys not really listen to each other again? Did she say something and you hot-head stormed off before she could explain? Or was it the other way around?”

Bucky blinked, taken aback.

In all her years with the stubborn Raena Verone as her best friend, Liv had learned one thing: be straight. It didn’t do anyone anything good when you tried to talk your way around an issue. As soon as you addressed what bothered you directly, things could be dealt with properly. So this was a bit of a shot in the dark with Bucky - she had never tried it with him - but she was hoping for the best.

A few silent seconds passed in which Bucky just looked at her. In his face she could spot disbelief, the urge to guard himself from whatever she was throwing at him and… a hint of respect?

“Somehow…”, he started, “I was rather upset when… Ugh.”, he sighed and the screwdriver he had previously held in his hand flew past her face to the other end of the shed, where he drilled into the wall. Olivia raised her eyebrows but didn’t push. “I didn’t listen to her.”, he mumbled and she nodded.

“Would be a good base for a real talk, huh?”

“...yeah”, he said quietly. For a few seconds they stood next to each other in silence. And then, barely audible, Bucky whispered: “But I’m always so mad.”

“At whom?”

“Mostly myself”, he admitted and Liv crossed her arms before her chest, nodding. 

“I get that. I know that feeling.”

Bucky snorted. “You? Mrs I’ve-always-got-everything-sorted-out?”

“I’m a damn good actress if I even fooled the Winter Soldier.”

Liv could see him flinch at that term and slowly things moved into place in her head. “Listen, we can’t change who we are. If things happen to us and they become a part of us, we should seek to embrace that. Whether it’s the perfect mask, whether it’s the serum that turns one into a super soldier or the Winter Soldier. If you hadn’t become him, you’d be dead now.”

“But I wouldn’t have done all these things.”

Liv scoffed. “It’s the fucking past, Bucky. You would also not have Steve anymore. He’d have to go through all this shit alone.”, she waved her hand around in a grand gesture. “He’s taken this on, hiding, running away, becoming a criminal, because he valued you more than his comfortable Avengers life. And”, she said, clutching her hand into a fist, “he would do it again. And you, wouldn’t you go through this shit again if it meant you’d get him back?”

Silence. 

Olivia never thought she’d get an answer to that one, but she didn’t need one. 

“And regarding Rae”, she said and Bucky flinched, but her voice was softer now, “you’re both hurting. Maybe you should stop being such stubborn babies and just talk. Let the other one finish, explain and try to put yourselves in their shoes. It would help your relationship tremendously.”

“She didn’t want to go to town with me.” 

It was barely more than a whisper again. He was hurting so much, Liv could tell. The way he balled his hand into a first, how his shoulders were hunched over, his knitted brows… telling signs.

“Said it was because of the safety protocol. She doesn’t want me go around killing more people.”

“You’re such an idiot.”, Liv said and continued quickly, leaving him no time to answer, “You’re a wanted criminal in a million countries around the fucking world, Barnes. Of course you can’t go to the fucking farmer’s market with her. If you want to spend quality time with her, take the horses and go for a ride. Prepare a picnic, what do I know?”, she said and pushed herself off the tractor and left.

It was frustrating. She just wanted to go to bed, although it probably was not even noon. These things were straining, she often felt more like a kindergartener than a secret agent, but walking over towards the house, she saw Steve. He was still chopping wood and when he looked up, his gaze meeting hers and her heart stumbling over its normal rhythm again, his eyebrow was raised. An unspoken question.

“He’s alright. I think. Or he will be.”, she said, as she stepped on the porch. 

“Oh.. thank you”, Steve said and he meant it. Oh how he meant it. 

The tension that was building itself up and breaking down between Bucky and Raena had nearly been tangible the last few days. He just didn’t know how to address it. He was not a big talker… But Olivia had handled and diffused situations he would have been helpless in. She somehow had found a way of talking to them. Or, one of them, at least.

One step at a time. 

But he couldn't allow himself to think of that right now. There were other things more pressing so he returned to his previous task. 

With a satisfying, soaring sound the axe crashed into the log and parted it. A clean cut. Steve kicked the smaller logs aside and positioned another piece of wood. He could feel sweat running down his forehead and his neck, but he didn’t care. The summer had gone by quicker than he had thought and nights got cold. They needed the firewood.

At least that was what he told himself.

Also the exercise was good. He needed to let off steam. Training by himself was fine, he just missed the sparring. Bucky had only one arm left, so he was off the list. Raena used her portals too much and it always confused him, when she disappeared and appeared the next second again, but he didn’t think she would like to sparr anyways. At least not with him.

The axe cut through another log and Steve took a deep breath. It nearly hurt him physically to see his best friend and Raena to avoid each other so much only to take the other all in with their looks while they thought the other one wasn’t looking.

But what did he know of love? 

He shot a look over to the door she had just disappeared through and his heart started beating even faster while only thinking of her. 

Her. 

With a sigh, he continued. He never allowed himself to think about sparring with Olivia. Sure, her invisibility tech would compensate for her smaller physique, but alone the thought of trying to hit her. Or having to touch her body, alone reaching out to help her up…

Steve’s mind escaped his control and suddenly his imagination took the reins. A dimly lit scene, the back of the barn, him and Olivia both breathing heavily, their bodies glistening from the sweat, dust being ignited by the setting sun that shone through the creaks in the wood and no one there to disturb them. 

He was on the ground, looking around, trying to find the redhead somewhere, then he heard the faint sound that always was to be heard when she would turn visible again and then she was suddenly there. Close. So much closer than he would ever allow her to come, since he was afraid that he couldn’t hold himself back. 

She was leaning over him, stretching her hand out and holding it before his chest, for him to grab it and get pulled back to his feet. Her long ginger hair tickled his bare shoulders and he suddenly realised they were both wearing less clothes than what was normal for sparring. Liv suddenly perked up an eyebrow and kneeled down before him, making herself comfortable before him on the floor. 

“You look like you could need a break, Cap”, she said and leaned forward. He could now count the freckles on her nose, see every spark in her green eyes, the single hairs in her eyebrow that still was perked up. Her presence made him a little dizzy and more than anything else he wanted to just kiss her, wanted to pull her close, wanted to get rid of all these clothes, feel her skin on his, explore every little part of her body, wanted to feel her…

“Steve?”

His name being called out pulled him back into reality. What a shame. The axe came down and missed the middle of the log, only to nearly fall out of his hands. He looked up and saw Olivia standing on the porch, looking over to him. She looked shy and a little starstruck. Then Steve noticed that her eyes weren’t on his, but on his arms. His hands, holding the axe, his chest, rising and falling with deep breaths. She looked… distracted. 

“Yeah?”, he asked and suddenly she snapped and looked back in his eyes. 

“I brought you some water. You’ve… you’ve been at this for a while now.”, she said, gesturing at the fire wood and her gaze wandered down over his sweaty shirt before she subtly shook her head and looked him in the eyes again. 

“Thanks, Olivia”, he said and managed a smile. She only nodded and turned on her heel, disappearing inside the house again. She was gone so quickly that Steve wondered whether she just went inside or had used her invisibility tech. “Thanks…”, he mumbled again and put the axe down. Wiping his forehead with the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and revealing his stomach in the process, he walked over to the porch. 

The water was good. It refreshed him and after he had gulped down a whole glass, he turned around and looked at the huge log his axe had missed when he had been lost in thoughts. Seizing it up with a quick glance, he picked it up and ripped the whole log in half, following the crack the axe had already struck. 

A faint noise was audible from the porch, it sounded like a gasp, but Steve didn't turn around. If she wanted to watch him, she should. He would not be ashamed of who he was and how he was looking. It felt good to be admired, especially by her. It made him feel proud and happy for this could be a sign that he actually had a chance with her after all. 

Two hours later he wasn't feeling good about himself anymore. After a long hot shower that got him thinking, Steve had crashed on his bed and his head was buried in a pillow. 

There it was again. 

The guilt. 

How could he even think something like that? How could he think it was okay that he was admired? He didn't do anything to look like he looked. To be strong like he was. All he ever did was get into the military, and even that would have never happened if he hadn't cheated. 

And then there had been the serum… the super soldier serum that had turned him into… yeah. Captain America.

But who was that? What did this person still stand for? Steve sighed deeply. The ideals he had once embodied… were they still valid? Was his still personifying them? 

He felt a tear making his way out of the corner of his eye and down his nose. Angrily he got up and took the pillow that had just then served as a hiding place. 

A disgrace.

That's what he was. Not more, not less. 

He took the pillow and threw it across the room, as hard as he could. It hit the wall and exploded, white feathers circling through the air towards the ground. 

Steve teared up, just as his door opened a little and Bucky’s head appeared. He looked tired. Did he already talk to Raena? Did he sort things out with her?

“Hey, are you al-” But he didn't finish. He closed the door silently behind him and was next to his best friend just as the next tear escaped Steve's blue eyes. 

Bucky sat down next to his friend and pulled him into an awkward, one-armed hug, but Steve didn't mind. He took another deep breath, trying to pull himself together but it didn't help. 

“It's okay Steve. It's alright.”, Bucky said and pulled him even closer. After a few seconds, he asked: ”What’s wrong, Steve?” 

Taking a deep breath, Steve tried to steady himself again, but it did not work. It still hurt to think of his pride and the situation it put everyone in. After all, wouldn’t it have been for Bucky, they would not be in hiding now. 

“I just… earlier when I was doing the firewood, Olivia was watching me and… I felt good… f-for being admired. But… that's nonsense, Bucky.” Steve managed to speak through his sobs. “There are more important tasks at hand. Not this… f-feelings and shit.”, he mumbled and Bucky, now knowing what was wrong, stroked over Steve's back before he pushed him back a little, being able to look into his eyes now. 

“You're allowed to feel, Steve. All sorts of feeling. Just because you're a super soldier doesn't mean you have to be a soldier all the time. Also not super all the time. No one expects that from you and no one ever will.” Bucky took a breath. This was more him hoping his words were true than it was reality but it wasn't about being right right now. It was about helping Steve. 

“You're a human being, you feel things. And you get conflicted. And like everyone else, you will solve them. Wanna know why?”

While listening to his best friend, Steve's breathing had become more stable and only wet trails on his cheeks still told of his emotional outbreak. “Why?”

“Because you have me. And Raena. And even Olivia. We will be by your side, helping you sort all of the mess out. No matter what mess, alright?” 

Steve nodded and after a couple of seconds he answered: “You’re right. Thanks Buck.”

“Not for this, Steve.”


End file.
